Emotional Debauching.

Though this kind of rape is not much talked about or discussed or it may not be recognized by this terminology, but it is faced and experienced by almost all of us. Sexual rape is the violation of somebody’s body on the other hand emotional rape is defilement of emotions, feelings and above all and the human soul.

Emotional Debauching is a conscious and meticulously designed act of violence on a person’s emotions. Though calling such a deed as emotional rape is an extremely vulgar term, but it is a painful reality. The survivors psyche is inhumanly attacked.

One may not even be aware of what’s going on because the emotional abuse starts off slowly and deftly. Men have equal chances of being victimized. During emotional rape, the survivors are already vulnerable. Coping with a whole lot of dependence and addiction, they can’t believe what they are being told or what all is being done to them.

Here, I am using “She” as the rapist and “He” as the survivor because men do have emotions and they are also vulnerable to be raped emotionally. She shows so much admiration and tells ‘him’ how awesome, how understanding, how dazzling he is, making him feel alive and euphoric. He feels special and cherished. There is a sense of gratification which ‘he’ has never felt before in his life.

She is fully equipped with the knowledge of words to use and acts charismatically to manipulate the survivor of the relationship. Now he is ready to do anything for the lady love.  A woman can chase a man for years by setting the stage for him so that he feels completely helpless and surrenders.

Such people set this kind of stage for their personal gains. They are not bothered about the destruction of the relationship, or the emotional damage they inflict. They are also immune to accountability. When the rapist wants to leave ‘him’, she would not mind telling him that she can’t cope with him anymore, that he is just boring for her. The magical soul- mate relationship goes from hell to heaven.

While the survivor puts lots of energy into building relationship, the assaulter uses his energy to build a false persona of himself. The assaulter rapes the positive out of the relationship. The survivor self- respect and self- image gets shattered and thus become more vulnerable to abuse. Self- esteem and self- worth are stripped away

 There will be a change in the intense range of emotions like from fear to anger, from anxiety to shame and from guilt to humiliation. The person will not even be able to trust one’s own thought and perception.

There are different kinds of Emotional abuse:

·        Name Calling – They will blatantly call you “stupid” or a “loser” or any other word.

·        Derogatory “pet names”- This is just more names calling in not- so- subtle disguised. They use words which are not terms of endearment.

·        Character Assassination- This usually involves word always, for example you are always late. Basically, they say you are not a good person.

·        Yelling- Screaming, yelling and swearing are meant to intimidate and make you feel small and uncomfortable.

·        Patronizing- “Aw, sweetie, I know you try, but this is just beyond your understanding”.  They use this kind of words to make you feel that you are worthless.

·        Joking- They make fun of your weaknesses. Simply relate jokes to you which are insulting for you.

·        Sarcasm- It is actually hostility disguised as humor. Insulting you indirectly.

·        Public Embarrassment- They pick fights, eposes secret of yours or make fun of yours. Shortcomings in publics.

·        Ignorance: They simply ignore you. Ignore your calls and messages, stop calling and shows that they are not more interested in you.

·        Insult of your appearances- They simply make insult of appearances. For example: You look so fat, your dressing sense is so old fashioned etc.

Like sexual rape, this assault also happens without consent. Emotional Rape is a violation of the human soul.

By: Mahima